I’m back. It’s been awhile. I wish i could say why. I’ve been trying to figure that out myself. At first i just thought i was doing better and therefore didn’t need to lean on this but then things got a little shitty and i just couldn’t bring myself to write. Anyway, i seem to now have something on my mind and am turning to my trusty blog to clear my head.
Life has been up and down. I’ve been back in therapy. Things are finally done with Anna and it got to me. Not because it was done, although i was gutted, but more for some of the things i said. I reacted and was cutting as i can be and i hated myself for it. It’s something I’m still not a fan of, but i guess i have to realise it that reactions are valid and my reaction was valid. In trying to better myself I’m trying to control every aspect of myself. I can’t. I’m setting myself up to fail if i try.
Once i got through that I’ve been good. Just focusing on the big move. Not sure I’ve mentioned but i am moving to Dubai! Super excited. I need a change. You know when you feel like life is just repeating itself and all the wild dreams you had as a kid are a distant memory to the monotony of the day to day. That’s how i feel. Nothing is exciting me. So I’m changing that. Sure it will be the same shit, but at least it will be a different toilet. I can’t wait to explore instead of fixating on being single because there is nothing else new and exciting.
I’m getting a bit anxious though. How will my battle with depression cope with moving to a completely new place where it is illegal to be gay.
Anyhoo. Hopefully now this is out I’ll get back to using my blog as a way to escape my mind. I do miss it.
Awkwardly Black...Oh, and Gay 